Spread the gospel
of Pirate Jesus!
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Pirate Jesus
PJ and his
pirate disciples sail the seven seas in search of the other Jesi. He
has so far defeated Clown Jesus, Pimp, Jesus and Cowboy Jesus. Right
now he is battling with Robot Jesus.
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Clown Jesus
Clown
Jesus was the author of the most hilarious sermons around, until he was
summarily defeated by Pirate Jesus. We still remember him every time we
consume banana cream pies, for they are the body of Clown Christ.
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Cowboy Jesus
Cowboy
Jesus had a magic lasso that forced whoever was caught in it to tell
the truth. When PJ defeated him, the lasso was converted into PJ's
retractable hook-harpoon.
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Pimp Jesus
When Pirate Jesus defeated Pimp Jesus, he
freed Mary Magdalene, who, as Pirate Mary Magdalene, has since become
PJ's 1st Mate!
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Pirate
John the Baptist
Pirate
John is completely obsessed with water. He is never without a mug of
holy grog, and he loves to keel-haul. He once keel-hauled the Buddha
because he thought it was Fat Jesus.
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Robot Jesus
Robot
Jesus travels the skies in search of other Jesi. His powers include the
WormWood missile, nano-regeneration, and a heart made of kryptonite.
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SuperBook
Part Bible, part computer. SuperBook gives
Robot Jesus the ability to summon Robot Angels, it also helped him
track down Pirate Jesus.
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Robot
Angel Metatron
The robotic voice of the lord speaks
soflty, but carries a big gun.
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Robot
Judas
Pirate Judas betrayes his Captain to become
Robot Judas, or is it just a clever disguise?
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Astronaut
Jesus
Astronaut Jesus serves as a space explorer
for the Israeli government. Has he been using their equipment for
personal gain?
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Pirate
Simon
Pirate Simon and Pirate Andrew were once,
mere fishermen...
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Architeuthis
Also known as the giant squid. No one has
ever seen a living specimen, except for Pirate Jesus, who can control
them with his Aquatic Telepathy.
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Robot
Angel Sandalphon
Sandalphon carries a flaming sword, has one
red eye and three legs.
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Pirate
Mary Magdalene
PJ's First Mate in more ways than one.
Pirate Mary Magdalene recently led an expedition to recover the long
lost treasure of Pontius Pirate.
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Caveman
Jesus
How he got into space, we may never know,
but Caveman Jesus died of explosive decompression caused by Astronaut
Jesus.
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Pirate
Andrew
But Pirate Jesus let them join his pirate
crew. Now they have become fishers-of men. And booty, mostly
fishers-of- booty.
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