Spread the gospel
of Pirate Jesus!
| Mon, 23 Feb 2004 15:16:39 -0100 (MET) | |
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Dear Pirate Jesus, A jewish friend of mine says that Pirate Jesus existed, but was not the messiah. Instead, he is waiting for a Piratical Age. What should I tell him? -DarkNES |
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| Mon, 8 Mar 2004 12:00:00 -0600 (CST) | |
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Dear DarkNES, Ye should show yer matey his own sacred texts. The Pirate Torah be full o' references t'meself, if ye know how t'see them. The same name "Shoded Yahshua" (Pirate Jesus) be occuring in the Old Pirate Testament near 100 times from Pirate Genesis to Pirate Habakkuk. Aye, the same word, the same name that the pirate angel Pirate Gabriel used in Pirate Luke 1:31 when he told Pirate Mary about the Son she was to have. Y'see, the Hebrew word fer PIRATE SAVIOUR in the Old Pirate Testament be absolutely identical to the word SHODED YAHSHUA (Pirate Jesus) So ye can see that the Pirate Torah be foretelling me coming. Here be some examples Pirate Isaiah 62:11. "Indeed the Pirate Lord has proclaimed to the end of the world: Say to the pirate daughter of Zion, Surely our SHODED YAHSHUA (Pirate Saviour = Pirate Jesus) be coming; Behold, his reward be with him, and his work before him." Pirate Psalm 91:14-16 "Because he be setting His love upon meself, so I will deliver him: I will set him on high, because he has known me name. He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble: I will deliver him and honour him. With long life I will satisfy him, and show him me SHODED YAHSHUA (Pirate Jesus)". Pirate Habakkuk 3:13 "Ye went forth fer the SHODED YAHSHUA o' yer people, for SHODED YAHSHUA with yer Shoded Messiah (yer Anointed Pirate = Pirate Christ). Ye struck the head from the house o' the wicked (Pirate Satan)." Also, thar be clear evidence all around us that we be living in the Piratanical Age. - Pirate Jesus |
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| Mon, 8 Mar 2004 12:34:38 -0600 (CST) | |
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That's a pretty weak argument! You're
saying that you're the Pirate Messiah because you were named "Pirate
Saviour" at birth? I could name my hamster "Amputar the Barbarian" but
that wouldn't make him a one man army! |
 Scarybug |
| Mon, 8 Mar 2004 12:39:46 -0600 (CST) | |
| What be the name o' yer hamster? |
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| Mon, 8 Mar 2004 12:52:43 -0600 (CST) | |
| Bitey. | Scarybug |
| Mon, 8 Mar 2004 12:53:09 -0600 (CST) | |
| And does he bite you? |  Pirate Jesus |
| Mon, 8 Mar 2004 12:56:16 -0600 (CST) | |
| Um, yes. | Scarybug |
| Mon, 8 Mar 2004 12:57:23 -0600 (CST) | |
| Thar ye be. |  Pirate Jesus |
| Mon, 8 Mar 2004 1:30:31 -0600 (CST) | |
| Wow. Hey everyone, be sure to check out DarkNES's band The Gothsicles! |
Scarybug |