Spread the gospel
of Pirate Jesus!
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| Mon,
23 Feb 2004 14:38:24 -0800 (PST) |
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Hail Pirate Jesus,
I come to you with a much-debated question, a question that countless
sailors have asked and answered yet no one can truly agree upon an
answer. So I turn to you O savior of Pirates, this is what me question
be;
Just what do you do with a drunken sailor?
Sincerely,
Jason Lee, Swashbuckler and Pirate.
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Jason Lee
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| Mon, 1 Mar 2004 12:00:00
-0600
(CST) |
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Aye matey, that be a most excellent question!
Most o' the confusion
surroundin'
this particular quandry be stemmin'
from the fact that the answer be dependin' on the time o' day.
Y'see, if it be late at night all ye be havin' to do is give 'im a mug
o' weak grog, a bit o' rations and put 'im t'bed.
But erlaye in the mornin', that be a patent block o' a diff'rnt size.
An erlaye mornin' drunken sailor needs soberin' fast, an' the soberin'
needs t'be so unpleasant that 'e'll keep 'is 'ead next time 'e thinks
about bein' three sheets t'the wind afore noon.
Ye must follow these steps exactly as I say.
1. Sling 'im in the long boat till he's sober,
3. Pull out the plug and wet 'im all over,
2. Keep 'im there and make 'im bale 'er.
4. Heave 'im by the leg in a running bowlin'
5. Shave 'is belly with a rusty razor.
6. Put 'im in the bilge an' make 'im drink it,
7. Tie 'im to the taffrail when she's yardarm under,
8. Put 'im in the scuppers with a hose-pipe on 'im.
That's what ye do with a drunken sailor, earlaye in the mornin'.
-Pirate Jesus
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Pirate Jesus
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| Mon, 6 Mar 2004 18:51:00 -0600
(CST) |
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I think that's a bit harsh coming
from a guy whose blood is made of wine!
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Scarybug
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