Date: Thu, 05 Aug 2004 01:07:34 -0500
From: Gabe Deitz
 
I decided to take the challege of translating the article. I was proud.
I only had to look up 7 words. The person who writes "Weltweitwirrwahr"
finds wierd shit to talk about in a weekly collumn on the world wide web.

The article translates as:

World Wide Clutter

Many baths of dirt have been poured out over time on the subject of our
savior Jesus -the most recent (for the time being) being Mell Gibson's
The Passion of the Christ. How nice it is, that there are still people
that take the bearing of this message earnestly- like perhaps the author
of piratejesus.com.

At first sight, this type of scripture interpretation seems to be of a
rather reckless/adventurous/daring type: a grim eye-patched sea captain
by the name of Pirate Jesus who sails the high seas, in order to battle
other sons of God-perhaps Clown Jesus, Pimp Jesus, Cowboy Jesus or
Robot Jesus, because obviously, there can be only one. Accidents are
also prone to happen- Buddha was keelhauled by John the Baptist because
he mistook him for Fat Jesus.

Besides the comics of Pirate Jesus and his crew, there are tidbits such
as the precisely illustrated pokemon fight between the savior and Albert
Einstein, which will decide the outcome of the battle of religion versus
science. Sigmund Freud is the referee.

Is this insanity? Blasphemy? By no means. The bible lets us know, that
the author of Pirate Jesus must be all right: 

"Look at the ships. Although they are large, and driven by strong winds,
they are nevertheless steered by a small rudder, whither he will,
he who steers." (jacob 3:4-5)

Thats it. The Frankfurter Rundschau is a very big paper by the way.
It is about the equivilent of the Chicago Tribune.